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How Not To Become Lunch: 2 - Don’t Fail Classes
Jack tapped his pencil nervously on his desk. For him, there was good news and bad news.
The good news: humans were the only people with an aptitude for magic. That meant while he was in Magic 101, all the nagas, nekos, harpies, vampires- basically all the naturally predatory students- were too busy with their own classes to bother him. On top of that, the number one reason for a human attending a magic class was “so I can avoid getting eaten”, which meant he had some common ground with just about everyone in the room. For anyone interested, the second most popular reason for a human attending was “because it’s cool”.
But then there was the bad news. First off, that list of predators also included werewolves, which meant his best friend Fiona was nowhere to be found and wouldn’t be around to save him if he got into trouble. Even though she had promised revenge on any other pred who did manage to eat him, that idea didn’t give him much relief.
And then there was the number three reason why humans attended magic class: “to become predators”. Yes, despite the fact that humanity had been ravaged by preds for generations- and the fact that magic was pretty much their sole defense- some humans were still inclined to leverage that power to become preds themselves. And they weren’t usually above snacking on other humans.
Which leads us to the worst news of all: Ms. Caster, the magic teacher for his new class, was a big time predator.
“Hey, you’re the new kid right? Jack?” came a whisper. Jack looked to his left, another boy his age glanced back.
Jack nodded.
“I’m Greg, nice to meet you.”
Jack smiled and nodded in reply, trying to avoid actually speaking since the last thing he needed was to get into trouble.
“You look kinda nervous. Don’t worry, the school only lets Ms. Caster eat the failing students,” Greg whispered.
“Thanks,” Jack mouthed. That did give him a bit of relief- after all she couldn’t exactly call him a ‘failing student’ after just one class, right? But then again, he had caught the unsightly witch eyeing him with increasing interest as her class went on. His mark called to her like an ‘open’ sign on a buffet.
“Now then, I think a bit of a demonstration is in order,” the teacher said, suddenly raising her voice a little. Jack snapped to attention, but luckily it didn’t seem that she had noticed them chatting. He watched her glance over the room, and his whole body tensed up as her eyes settled on him. There was a horrible silence as she took the moment to stare at him, sizing him up.
“Ah, you,” she declared with a crooked finger. Jack took a sharp breath… and then slowly let it go. Ms. Caster wasn’t pointing at him. He heard a kid a few seats behind him get up and saw a boy slowly make his way up to the front of the room, obviously nervous.
“Well, we have a new student in the class, but I’d rather not embarrass him by calling him up, after all it sort of spoils the flavor for me. You, on the other hand,” she gestured toward the boy, “have been in my class for a good while. So why don’t you show the newcomer how it’s done.”
Ms. Caster reached into her desk drawer and pulled out an apple, shiny and fresh. She placed it plainly on her desk.
“Here, show me what you can do with this,” she instructed.
The poor kid, his hands shaking, reached down for his wand and drew it. He glanced back over towards his desk, probably wishing that he had a chance to review his notes, but he had no such luck. A bead of sweat formed on his face as he thought for a moment. Then he turned and faced the fruit. He held out his wand.
“Le-levito,” he squeaked in an attempt to sound imposing.
Jack watched a faint glow begin to appear around the target, hardly visible over the classroom lights. The apple twitched, then began to tilt, as if being lifted up from only one side. And then suddenly the glow disappeared, and the apple fell back into place with a wobble.
“Tsk, tsk,” went Ms. Caster. “Come now, sweety, I expect better from you.”
“I’m sorry Ms. Caster,” he muttered timidly, “I’m just nervous, I swear I can do better.”
“But if you’re this nervous in front of a little apple, what will happen when you have to use your magic to defend yourself from a predator? And besides that, you’ve hardly shown any kind of useful example for the class.”
“I- I-”
“Here,” she interrupted, “let me show you all an example of what I can do with an apple.”
She reached for her wand; the child turned white with fear.
“No, wait! Please!”
*poof*
With a flick of her wrist and a puff of smoke, suddenly the boy was gone. But in his place… there was an apple.
“Now then, that was quite an advanced example for you newcomers, but let me break it down for you.” She stepped over and picked the red fruit up off the floor. “For starters, that spell was performed wordlessly, which is what you might be capable of after you’ve cast a single spell half as many times as I’ve cast this one.
“This particular technique I’ve used is actually a bit deceptive,” she brushed off her prize with one hand. “While it looks like I’ve turned your classmate into an apple, what I’ve really done is forced his body into a form which looks nearly identical to an apple- on the outside at least. All of his mass- and his consciousness- is actually completely preserved.”
A hand shot up in the class, from someone Jack couldn’t see. Ms. Caster looked in the kid’s direction inquisitively.
“So then why is he so light? Did your spell also include a weight-reduction enchantment?”
“Ah, very observant. Yes, that’s correct.” she replied. “You’ll make a fine predator one day,” she added with a smirk.
“Now then, there’s one more aspect of this spell I need to demonstrate,” she announced. “Observe carefully…”
The witch brought the apple up to her face, examining it closely, then suddenly her lips split into an enormous gape, contorting the rest of her face. She slipped the polished red snack between her crooked teeth, taking the whole thing into her mouth at once, and then swallowed it down with a noisy gulp- loud enough that even the kids at the back of the room could hear.
Jack watched the unnerving bulge slither down the teacher’s throat.
“And here, dear children, is the final touch.”
*GLORP*!
Her belly suddenly tripled in size, bulging out enormously and stretching her black shirt past the limit of any normal article of clothing. But that wasn’t even the worst part; it started wriggling.
“You see class- *urp*- the transformation aspect of the spell was impermanent. Now that a few moments have passed, your former classmate has returned to his normal form, only to find himself having been reduced to a snack.”
The witch patted her belly brashly, it thrashed even harder in response.
“Any questions?” she asked. The room was silent. Jack did have a question, but he sure wasn’t going to ask her.
“Very well, that’s all for today’s class, I have a meal to digest. Dismissed!”
Kids began to rise and start toward the door, some casually, others like their lives depended on it. Jack turned to Greg as he stood.
“How many kids has she eaten?” he asked quietly.
“Kids? Or specifically her own students?” he replied. “Look, I didn’t really want to mention it, but if I’m being honest: that desk you’re at was already used by three other students this year, and they all ended up in the same place… If it makes you feel any better, you can walk out with me, I’ll show you to the lunchroom.”
“Yeah, that would be good,” Jack replied. He stood, picked up his things and then followed Greg out of the room, trying to ignore the gurgles and groans as he passed the teacher’s desk.
“Welcome to my class, Jack. See you tomorrow,” Ms. Caster called. Jack just walked faster, catching up to his new friend.
As Greg led him down the halls the school bells rang, and other students began leaving their rooms. Jack kept his eyes out for Fiona, but he wasn’t sure where her class was and didn’t manage to spot her. Before long they approached a set of large double doors, with loud, indistinct chatter audible from several feet away. When they stepped inside, Jack had to take a moment to let the sight sink in.
Before him was a massive, boisterous room, with dozens of tables. Several different buffet-style lines ran along each of the walls, serving food suited for all different types of students. And of course, several of those students were already sporting large, wriggling bulges in their midsections.
“Kinda crazy, right?” Greg remarked.
“Yeah…” Jack gawked.
“…Hey, let me introduce you to my friend, she’s right over there,” Greg offered, pointing a finger.
“The frog girl?”
“Yeah, her name’s Lily. You know she wasn’t actually born a frog, she used to be human, but she was given the classic witch’s curse…”
“Huh?”
“She was changed into a frog girl and only ‘true love’s kiss’ can change her back. Man, you’ll never survive Ms. Casters class if you don’t start learning.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Jack replied.
“You should try,” he encouraged.
“What, kissing Lily? Seriously?”
“Yeah. She’s pretty, and she’ll kiss basically anyone, she’s desperate.”
“Huh, maybe it’s worth a shot…”
*NOM*!
“What the-!” Jack exclaimed, he hadn’t done much more than blink and now suddenly the boy he had just been talking to was being shoved headfirst into a furry maw. Jack might have objected, maybe even tried to help, except he quickly noticed that it was Fiona who was doing the eating.
He watched his childhood friend pin Greg’s arms to his sides and proceed to shove the poor boy down her throat. Her werewolf maw expanded graciously to accommodate, her neck stretching as her prey was voraciously sucked inside. In less than thirty seconds, Jack’s classmate was flawlessly reduced to nothing more than a squirming, furry bulge in Fiona’s gut.
“Fi! Why did you do that!? Didn’t you see I was making friends with that guy!?” he complained angrily.
“Oh really?” she asked, a bit peeved. “If I heard right, he was telling you to kiss Lily, yeah? Let’s just watch her for a bit, I give it about thirty seconds.”
Jack tore his eyes away from his friend’s wriggling belly and turned back to the frog girl. Within a few seconds, she started walking. She went up to some other kid, another human, sitting all by himself. The two talked for a moment and then suddenly the boy got all flustered. There were a few more awkward exchanges, and then the boy timidly closed his eyes, puckered his lips, leaned forward and…
*SLURP*
Lily’s giant frog tongue shot out like a lightning bolt. The slimy mass crashed over the unsuspecting boy, conforming around his body for a split-second before quickly pulling back. The poor kid was yanked off his feet in an instant and dragged completely into the girl’s maw, which expanded to a ridiculous size. Then, in a single gulp, Lily sent the kid down to her froggy belly.
Lily sat back, let out a satisfied *ribbit* and patted her squirming gut.
“The ‘classic witch’s curse’? That’s just a children’s story. This one was trying to get you eaten,” Fiona explained, still obviously angry at the conniving boy struggling in her belly. “Lily’s a pred,” she continued, “She likes to trick people into letting their guard down, especially new kids. Greg’s had a crush on her for months, but Lily doesn’t date prey. That’s why Greg here was studying to become a pred.
“Isn’t that right?” she asked her belly.
A muffled series of shouts escaped from beyond the werewolf’s fur.
“He probably thought he could get on her good side by tricking you into being her snack- but I’m not about to let that happen.”
Now that Fiona had finished explaining her brilliant powers of deduction, she finally realized that Jack hadn’t said a word. Instead, she noticed he was just staring at her.
“What?” she asked.
“Oh, sorry- it’s just- when we were kids, you were still too small to actually eat, well, a human. It’s just weird to see you being an actual pred now.”
“Hey! I was still a pred when I was little! I hunted all the time!”
“Yeah, slow mice and dumb birds,” Jack teased.
“Catching birds isn’t easy!” she retorted, “And what kind of a ‘thank you’ is this anyway?”
“The filling kind apparently,” he replied. “Seriously, though, thanks for looking out for me. That’s already twice now that I almost ended up someone else’s snack.”
“It might be a good idea to wait for me before coming in here again, at least until you’ve been here a while.”
“Yeah, good call. So, where do you think it’s safe to sit?”
“Here, I’ll show you. I still have like a bajillion questions for you anyway.”